I am drawing. I am drawing a red heart on a blank paper. It is my heart, a small heart on a big paper. This is how my heart feels…
My love house is small now, there is nobody to complete it. I teach at a college and I ask the students to draw their hearts on big papers. I wanted to see how many of them are happy. They were not many, I was surprised.
At the end I showed mine too.The majority asked why is it so small, when I had such a big paper? I told them to find the answer by themselves and to show me their papers at the end of the semester and I smiled.
I am in my cabinet of psyhology, and I’m waiting for a new pacient. It appears that I am the doctor of hearts. I am curious to see what are the problems of this person too. I am preparing my agenda, my voice recorder and I’m making a nice atmosphere. It is the place where I also relax very much, when I am alone. I have a lying armchair, relaxing music, the courtains are coloured nicely, the plants bring more relaxation and the fountain in the corner completes the ambience.I also have an easel and my pacients can draw on it when they feel to do it or when I want to find out a lot more about their status.
It’s six to five and I am hearing some voices in the lobby , where my secretary is. She is sending me the pacient and I am telling her to go home. He is a very stylish gentleman with hoary hair. He is appearing to have a nice personality and he is smiling.
– Good evening, sweet lady. I hope I am not late.
– Not at all, sir. You arrived on time. Please take a seat on the armchair and make yourself comfortable.
I am starting the fountain and turn on a diffusing light and the session is begginning. He is telling me about his love stories and how he isn’t able to get over a past love. He doesn’t seem to be a hurted man who is not capable of loving again, but what do we know, from the outside? We know nothing about what’s happening in a human’s soul, but we can try to find out. Thirty minuntes passed and I am asking him to draw a heart and I am offering him some coloured pencils too. I am surprised to see that he drew a big heart but he didn’t coloured it. There are persons who are percepting love in so many ways. His heart is big and he can love, but that love is missing. He is talking very nice about women, about love and respect. He is the type of man that I like, too bad that I can’t date pacients. Ten sessions had passed since he was seeing me, sometimes I don’t get why he is continuing this because he doesn’t need my advice, he is a man without problems, the only thing that it’s missing from him is a woman. He is the last patient this evening too. He can’t never come early because of his job. He brought me a box of chocolates, which happened to be my favourite and a large bouquet of flowers.
-Thank you, but it wasn’t necessary!
-It was my pleasure, they are from my big heart which is starting to get some colour!
I didn’t know what he wanted to say, I think I looked surprised but he didn’t give me any explanations.
– This evening, if you allow me, I’d like to talk without disruption, or your intervention!
And he talked and coloured almost his whole big heart. I didn’t understand why, and he told me that I made him to love a big soul, a beautiful person on the outside and the inside.
– I think that I fell in love with you, doctor!
I was amazed and I was started to tremble of emotion. I wanted to hide, to avoid this situation.
– But you know that this is unapropriate, our relationship must be only profesional, doctor-pacient.
– From this day forward, I am not longer your pacient and I am asking you to dine with me!
I was lost, I didn’t know how to react, I was confused because it was the first time when I experienced something like that. I said no and I told him that I have other plans. He left and apologized and wished me a great evening. He asked if he can call me to talk. I didn’t know what to answer, I just looked deep in his eyes and I think that he understood the answer. That night I received a friend request on Facebook from him and finally I accepted it because I thought it is ok , for not being my pacient anymore. He didn’t write me and a couple of weeks passed… I was continuing my job with my students, I was spending my time with beautiful, young people. When, in an evening, I received a hi from him. I answered him and he told me that he fell in love with me and he wanted me to offer him a chance. I watched his photos, he was a handsome, kind man. He began to try to find out more about me: what type of woman I was, if I was single and why, how I like a man in a relationship, how is my vision in general about women involved in a relatonship.His way of addressing to me was perfect, I was smiling in front of my laptop. He began to attract me, he was different.
A few days have passed since we talked and he approached me again. Our conversations started to be step-by-step more often. After almost a month of talking, he asked my how I liked to make love. I thought that I didn’t read well enough, but I liked his initiative. I answered him that I don’t have a favourite position, but I like with the man on top. I like to be dominated.
– I would like to make love with you, to touch your skin! he said.
My skin reacted when I red the words, it was the first time when I was talking about sex in writing. He had a fantastic power on me, I wanted him .
-Do you know what am I doing now? I have also a heart on a paper, a small one but I enlarged it thanks to you! Mine it’s all red. I think that I’m starting to like you, to fall for you.
-We could meet if you’d like that. We can go out together or have sex. I want you in my bed, you are the woman who made myself being in love again! I want to offer you big pleasure, to make love with you as you wish.
-I don’t feel ready for this!
-I’d like you to send me a picture of you naked!
I couldn’t believe that he wrote that, I read it a few times to be sure.
I sent the picture, and there were some minutes of silence then I received a photo from him… I got instantly wet after I saw his penis. I hoped it was his penis, not from the internet. I wanted to be with him at that moment to make love like two mad people. We stopped writing, I think that each of us did what he felt to do and after that we decided to see each other at my place, to know each other better, to experience sex together. We completed our hearts, the most big and red ones that I have ever seen in my entire career.