Our dreams are beyond control
Mom always told me dreams are for fools. ‘Sweetie, look at your aunt. All her life she dreamed to become a famous ballerina but she ended up being a salesperson.’
If not, look at your dad. When I met him, he had serious plans to become a respected engineer and now he works on a construction site. Do you want to end up like them?
I looked at her not saying a word. Although her words hurt me, I didn’t stop believing in my dreams, although at that age, they were stupid and infantile. When we walked on the street, she used to show me how miserable some people were, blaming their foolish dreams for their condition. I never judged her for teaching me to keep my feet on the ground, because I knew she was also one of the persons she hated so much. She was also one of the dreamers lost on the path of life.
What can a child wish at the age of 10 or 11? Toys, sweets, or being popular in school? I wanted all of these. I wanted to have many friends, to have nice clothes and to be forever beautiful. But most of all, I wanted to find true love one day. I used to hide mom’s make-ups under my bed and put them on, when my parents were sleeping. If mom had caught me with her make-up on, she would have made a terrible scene! I wished to be pretty and liked by all the boys in school, but nobody noticed me until I got to high school. In high school, everything changed for me.
I began going regularly to the gym, learning what clothes look good on me, eating healthy, doing my hair, taking care of my physical aspect. My dream of being seen pretty by the other girls and noticed by all the boys soon turned into reality. I became the queen of the prom and one of the most popular girls in school. However, finding true love seemed to be more difficult than expected.
I lived in my own world, where I was the greatest and the super-hot chick until…One day, when I was about to leave school, I heard one boy talking behind my back:
Who does she think she is? She doesn’t speak to us and has no idea of how to approach men. No one could fall in love with a walking statue. Beauty fades, dumb is forever!
I felt really angry when I heard him saying those nasty words about me. I wanted to go back and tell him I was different, but I realized he was somehow right. Even if I was pretty and appreciated for my beauty, I built a kind of invisible wall between boys and me. This is perhaps the reason why I could not find love in high school…My dream was fading away because I still had much to learn about being ‘lovable’.
Time passed and I became ‘an adult’. At the age of 22, I began wishing to be appreciated by all men, more than finding true love, because this dream seemed too far away. At the same time, I wanted to achieve financial independence and to move out of my parents’ house.
One of my friends, Sally, three years older than me, was working as an escort in Glasgow, Scotland.She asked me if I wanted to join this business several times, but I always refused her, even if she was financially independent, happy and wanted by thousands of men. The pity I felt for her at the beginning, soon turned into mild envy. One Saturday night, I invited her over for a ‘girl-talk’.
I have been thinking and I’ve decided to listen to your advice. I want to become an escort!
Way to go, girl! I’m glad you finally took this decision.
Tell me honestly, do you like what you’re doing?
Do I look like a girl who does something she does not like?
No, but sometimes life forces you to…
Life does not tell you what to do, Dianna. We make our own lives. If you want to become an escort, I’ll talk to my employers and tell them about you. But you have to be sure of your decision.
After this conversation, we talk about escorts for several hours. I fall asleep thinking about the purpose of life. If being happy is not the one, which is it?
As soon as I enter the agency, everyone seems to like me. Therefore, they soon plan my first date as an escort. Of course, I had to lie to my parents that I was a waitress in a night bar, otherwise they would have kicked me out of the house.
There is only half an hour left till my first meeting. I am very nervous because all the other escorts told me the first date with a client sucks, they might treat you bad and make you feel even worse!However, I try not to be scared. I follow everyone’s little pieces of advices and I mentally prepare myself for the big night. Agency’s driver takes me to the hotel where the client wants to meet me. I am more nervous by the second.
A tall good-looking man, wearing a black business suit, welcomes me in front of the hotel.
Hi, I am Dianna. Nice to meet you, I say in a slightly trembling voice.
Hi, I am Danny. Nice to meet you too, he replies fearfully.Let’s go inside, it’s cold.
As soon as we enter the room, he begins moving from one way to another. As I see him walking chaotically in the room and being even more nervous than me, I gain confidence and I try to distress the atmosphere.
So, what can you tell me about you, Danny?
What would you like to know?
I don’t know…anything, I reply blushing.
I am 28 and I live in Glasgow. You?
I am 24 and I live in Glasgow too.
The guy gets up unexpectedly and heads straight to the bathroom. Weird! I don’t know if I offended him somehow or he just had an emergency, but I try to remain calm. Meanwhile, I call the driver to let him know I am ok…so far. (one of agency’s rules).
After two minutes, Danny comes back.
I apologize for my attitude. Look, calling an escort was a bad decision. You can go if you want, without worrying for the money.
Hum, I was expecting many things, except this one. I should have gone home, as I was already paid for the services but something made me stay. I don’t know if it was the sad look in his eyes, or that my ego was hurt.
You paid for three hours with me, so I hope you are not upset if I am not leaving, I tell him smiling.
He smiles back to me, keeps silence for a couple of seconds and then says:
Let me tell you a secret. This is the first time I called an escort. I did it because my girlfriend cheated on me and I wanted to make her suffer too…How silly I sound…
Well I’ve done even worse things. Once, I wanted so much to make my boyfriend suffer, that I began sending myself messages on the phone, as if I was another guy; just to make him jealous.
Really?He asks laughing.
Yes, and this is not all. He made me so mad with his indifference that I hooked up with his best friend, just to piss him off.
Actually, my girlfriend…sorry, ex-girlfriend…cheated on me with my boss, so this sucks even worse.
It does. But take it this way: maybe if you had not found out, you would have still been with her, married her and have children together, in case you don’t have ones already.
No, we are not married and have no children. Thanks God!
See? You would have lived a lie for the rest of your life. At least you found out the truth…
Yes, but the truth hurts like hell.
A little suffering is always good. It helps us value and appreciate the real beautiful moments in life.
I love how you think.
As I hear him complimenting me and looking me straight in the eyes, I suddenly feel my cheeks burning like hell.
How did you end up in this industry?He asks after a short pause.
You won’t probably believe me but…This is my first time too. This is why I was so nervous when I met you.
After hearing my words, his face suddenly brightens.
So, I guess we can call this a double deflowering! He says.
We both burst into laughter. I take a moment and look at him. He has an innocent face, he is good-looking, he seems intelligent and has a great sense of humor. I wonder how anyone could cheat on him…
As we still have almost three hours together, what if we eat something? He asks smiling.
At this hour?!
Don’t worry, your beauty does not lie on a couple of pounds or on the brands you are wearing.
I don’t know how he does it, but he makes me feel really good. It is the first time when a man gives me so many feelings the same time! I feel pretty, intelligent, kind and appreciated, when I was expecting to feel the other way round!
Room service arrives fast, as we continue talking and having a good time. We talk about our past, we tell each other funny stories and we go on playing with the forks and throwing food at each other like little babies.
Do you still regret hiring an escort? I ask him laughing.
Hiring an escort? Yes!
What?? I reply hitting him with a pillow.
But meeting you, was probably the best thing that happened to me!
We go from laughing and joking, to being extremely profound. I lay my head down, being afraid of confessing that I feel the exact same thing.
I hope I did not upset you with my words…
No. Just that…You told me the most beautiful words a guy ever told me, when I really don’t deserve it.
Why do you say that?
I can barely resist not crying. I would have expected anything from this meeting except for this. I have butterflies in my tummy and my heart beats so fast that I can barely breathe. It is the first time when I really feel something for a man.
Look, Dianna. I don’t know what I was thinking when I called the agency. I was extremely hurt and needed to forget about what happened, I wanted revenge, I wanted some consolation, I don’t know! But I would have never expected to meet a girl like you, smart, kind and extremely beautiful, who could make me feel like this. I really…
He takes a step closer to me, waiting for my reaction. I am scared and confused and don’t know how to manage this situation, so I shut my mouth and give vent to my feelings. I kiss him… His lips are softer than anything I’ve ever felt. He runs his fingers through my hair and gently caresses my burning cheek. I keep my eyes closed and wish this moment would never end.
My perfect moment is interrupted by the phone. My driver is calling. Time is up.
No, don’t leave now! He says.
I can’t stay…even if I’d love to! I don’t want to have problems with the agency.
Before you leave…I want you to know that I think I may be…That I am…
In love with you, I interrupt him. I have the same feelings for you.
He smiles and hugs me tight, and then he says:
Promise me we will see each other soon.
We will, I promise.
I give him my phone number and leave the hotel. I try not to look back, because I might not be able to return to the agency. I feel both happy and sad at the same time.
What happened next? The next day I quitted my extra-new job as an escort. Despite the horrible fight I had with the agency and with my friend who recommended me, I decided to follow my dream. Danny and I planned our first real unpaid meeting the same day, being even more beautiful than the first unofficial one.
Since then, we have been inseparable. We have been married for 6 years, we run a family business together and have a beautiful child, named Danielle. Things turned out just great for me, after all.
I am sharing my life story with you, so you can learn from my experience. Never stop believing in your dreams, not matter how far they seem. Most dreams come true when you least expect it.