I dream. I dream that you hold me in your arms and I feel your breath on my neck.
Something it itches me down there and something wants to get inside me with any cost.
You talk bad to me and you say to be relaxed. What the hell? You get annoyed fast and you push me on the bed and you get on top of me. Your eyes are red and your hair smokes like smoke. You scare me. I make no movement, I am paralysed with fear. I am a little girl and I don’t know what to do. Something warm, even hot flows inside me and I am afraid not to burn me inside. I feel like it wanna come out of my throat. The alarm rings… Thank God I woke up, I think that I have never felt better like that when the clock rang! It was just a dream! From years I go on the same road in the morning and it looks like it never ends. It is like I am stuck in a circular labyrinth. I think about going in a library and take a book. I get in and I see a head between the shelves. It was the man from my dream, with black eyes now and long, curly hair… I smashed the door and I ran away. “Can I help you with something, sweetie?” I told you quickly what I was looking for and you brought me all the atlases. I wanted to escape from there and I was shaking with fear. Suddenly I felt a hand pushing my mouth with a scarf. I was trying to escape but it was all in vain. Someone pick me up and takes me to a car in the parking slot. The door from the back of the car opens and I am thrown inside the car. I can’t remember anything else. After that I know that I was in a room and I was tied to the bed with a scarf at the legs and hands. I was naked and I was cold and afraid. Then I saw you once more. Your eyes were red like in the dream and you were wearing only boxers. I hope it wouldn’t continue like in the nightmare that I had. You approached me and took me in your arms. I was shaking… I was wondering what is with the project you work about. As if you read my mind, you told me that you can work alone, but you want me by your side. What could I say? I couldn’t run back to clasroom for sure. The door was locked… You released me from your embrace and you told me to sit on the chair next to the shelf. You looked at me for a few minutes and then you sit in front of the computer. From time to time you were looking at me and then you were looking again at the computer screen. I was bored and I wanted to hear the break bell ringing to go home. It was the last course and I was hungry. It was dark outside and I was afraid that you could follow me. I was thinking about your eyes, your curly hair, at the fact that you could be my dad and about what your mind thought about when you tormented me. I was coming like that daily and sit on that chair. You were looking at me and at the screen. You were working something there and once I asked you what you doing. You told me that you were going to show me when it’s done! Sometimes you were hugging me. I started to like it. You were talking nice to me and I forgot everything soon. I liked to feel your strong arms protecting me. In the weekends I was thinking about you, at what love means and how the first kiss would look like. One day, right before the holiday, you showed up with a big box of olives and two tickets. You gave them to me and you asked me if I want them. I read what was written on one of them: it was a plane ticket round-trip to Vienna, Austria. You said you wanted to go in a holiday at a hotel in Vienna… I gladly accepted. It was the first time for me on a plane and when it took off I was feeling the same way as when I am with you. It was a wonderful sensation and you were next to me. I whispered that I love you and you kissed me on the lips. Yes. I was in love with you and you were everything for me. I was in the seventh heaven litteraly. I didn’t want to let you go but the seat belts were not permitting us to continue. We arrived at Vienna in the evening and you called us a taxi to the hotel. We were having a single room with a double bed. I don’t think that I enjoyed too much seeing that, bad memories were coming in my mind. But still you changed and I changed too. We were walking in the dark on metalled streets, snowflakes were falling in our hair. It was pretty cold but our hands were warming in reciprocity. We returned in the room and you said that I was going to sleep in the bed and you on the sofa. I think I liked that, it was safer for me. In the first night I don’t believe I slept too much. I was hearing you breathing and I was thinking about you. We woke up in the morning and we went for a walk. We were going in different shops and look at the stuff there for selling. I was not understanding anything in that language, you were translating me. A night was different. It was a snow storm and the light turned off. The heaters were cold and we were cold also. I got myself under the blanket and you covered yourself under the blanket of yours on the sofa. You fell asleep, I was hearing your breath different . I was cold and I could not sleep, I came next to you in the dark. That sofa was too small. You felt me and you spread your legs to embrace me. I got there near you and it was better and warmer and easily I fell asleep. All day the wind has blown. The night was going to spend it again in the dark and coldness. We didn’t know what to do, at the TV we couldn’t watch. We went for sleep: me on the bed and you on the sofa. I wanted you next to me to warm me up. You read my thoughts and you came next to me. I lifted the blanket and you lay near me. You were holding me in your arms and I was feeling your warm breath on my ear. You were whispering me that you love me and that I am everything for you. I turned my face to you and I kissed you. Your hands were playing on my back, going up and down. I was enjoying that and I wasn’t saying anything, I could not. I took your example and I put my hands on your back also. They were cold and I put them under your blouse. I was sensing your soft , hot skin under my fingers. You did the same and I was feeling goosebumps. I was feeling the manhood inside your pants and I touched it. You got on top of me and you were taking my nightgown off. I remained naked in front of your eyes. You were on top of me and I put my legs around you. I didn’t know why I was doing that but my instinct was telling me that. I trembled once and I moaned. You continued and I moaned again. You hugged me and we fell asleep like that. In the morning you said that it was lovely. The last year of highschool, I had to choose a college, I have never thought that I would lose you. You were kissing my face, eyes, lips. You didn’t know anything about me, I didn’t know anything about you, but we knew that we were in love. You were everything for me and I wanted you every second. We were having a windows of ours in the back of the library, hidden between the shelves and from there we were watching the hurried people. We were staying on the sash, hugging each other. Our love story was wonderful, was too beautiful.