It was a long time since I couldn’t be myself again.
I gave up to his love , at that game where I was on the second place, the second woman in his life. I was feeling loved in those hours when I was having him just for me, but I wasn’t having him forever, I couldn’t go out when I wanted with him, we couldn’t be together on the Holidays. It was nice at first, I accepted like it was possible, but I ended it eventually. And I couldn’t escape from his insistence , until he finally stopped.
I had night of hot sex at my house, in hotel rooms, in town or at the mountain. He knew how to make love with me like nobody knew before him. He was seeing me like I was a beautiful, perfect woman. He was always paying me compliments and he was surprising me with expensive gifts. He was handling his father’s in law business , a very rich man, who trusted him with everything. He knew how to do that the best, like a veritable business man. This side of him attracted me from the beginning , from the first time I saw him, when I accidentally arrived into his arms. I still remember our first touchings on the street, near my car, in a restaurant parking slot where we were both invited by a common friend.
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He touched my cheek and my frozen lips. It was a cold, winter night, in which I hurried to my car to warm it and go home. He watched me with insistence the whole night, eating every word I was saying and he was smiling at me often, raising his glass. I knew he was married and I wasn’t understanding why he was doing that, but I liked him as a man, his impressive app, his intelligence when he was discussing business or other general stuff. Ruxi whispered to me that he was a womanizer, to watch him, but when you let yourself go you don’t think rational anymore.
His cold hand on my lips gave me shivers.
– You are a very beautiful woman. Sorry I dared to follow you, but I wanted to tell you this thing. Probably you know that I am a married man and you might have some principles in life, but I couldn’t control myself. Maybe you’ve heard some things about me, people talk a lot, but nobody knows exactly the real truth, why all of these things happen. If you accept to have a coffee with me, maybe I can talk with you some aspects.
– I don’t know if it is appropriate to do this. I just want to go home. It is very cold outside and we don’t have any reason to be here.
He looked at me and he took my hand into his, watching me as he was begging me to stay more. I retired my hand and I wished him good night, getting in the car and start the engine. I was wondering what the others would think when they saw him after me. Waiting for the engine to heat, Ruxi called me to see if I was okay. I didn’t want to tell her what happened. I don’t know if I was shaking just because I was cold or also because I was nervous about what happened. I had goosebumps after he touched me , but I tried to ignore them. My way back home I only thought about him, at everything that happened that night. Our first love night was on the New Year, when he didn’t spend it with his wife, but with me and friends at the mountain. I accepted him next to me, I was glad that I wasn’t going to be alone. At twelve o’clock at night we kissed for the first time, I was floating. The time stopped and I wasn’t even feeling the cold outside, the snowflakes that were touching our faces. It was something extraordinary and until we went in the room, I felt that I was impatient, I wanted him so much , even for just a night. I was aware that between us everything could be ended anytime, we couldn’t have a relationship, it was just sex. When everyone retired to their rooms we also did. We started to kiss with passion from the elevator and we were partially naked.I dared to touch his penis through his pants, I couldn’t wait to feel it inside me, I was impatient to feel what other women felt with him. We both undressed quickly, then everything was like in the romantic movies. He, a man with a lot of experience, me, a woman, who wasn’t having a lot experience, but who stayed and let to go everything as he wanted. His hands played with my body , we made love until the sweat got the sheets wet. He swore ti me that when we get back I wouldn’t see him again, because I was going to want him just for me, definitely. It wasn’t like that. Everything went strange and I couldn’t stay without him anymore, step by step we couldn’t see each other so often and I understood that I must go on with my life.
Now I am on my way to the mountain, with my friends to spent the Holidays there. The view is amazing, the atmosphere with them is wonderful, but I wasn’t seeing nothing around me. I was smiling but in my soul I felt no joy. From time to time my friend’s giggling was waking me up to the reality. After a few hours we arrived in front of the luxurious hotel. I saw their internet page, but in reality was even better, and the surroundings where fantastic. I was going to share my room with Ruxi, my life partner. It was noise and agitation. I was in need for silence, but i left from home not to be alone, it was an awkward sensation.
I tried to put on my smiling face and to enjoy the crazy atmosphere. Suddenly I hear a familiar voice, I didn’t want to turn around and look. I wasn’t mistaken, I hear very well and I hide behind Robert not to be seen. I couldn’t believe that from all the hotels in the world, they chose one hotel that he was administrating it and he was there. Suddenly I saw Ruxi going to him and I saw him looking at me and I went to them to salute him. He hugged me. I wanted to refuse but there were a lot of persons around and I would have made him feel bad. I let him hug me and I smiled somehow. He invited me to his office. I said yes, I don’t even know why. I sat on a sofa that was there. Then someone came in and brought us some mugs and a teapot. He poured some tea and put it on the table near us then he sat next to me and hugged me again like nothing happened. I wasn’t enjoying the posture but I was in that situation. I was feeling like I was in a dream, he told me that he didn’t understand what happened with us, why everything ended between us. He was playing with my hair and kissing my cheeks. I wanted to refuse him but I couldn’t do nothing, it was like I couldn’t move a muscle. The pain that he left me I was trying to remove it now in his arms. I was hearing his questions about my parents, my work, but I couldn’t answer him. I was drinking slowly my tea and I was trying to understand how I ended again into his arms, after a year when I tried to forget him. I asked him if he divorced and he said no, that their agreement is not to do it, each of them to follow their lives, but without divorce. I pushed him and I wanted to get outside the office but he caught my hand , taking me in his arms and he put me on an armchair, starting to kiss me like a year before, with the same passion and kindness, living the same sensation that made me lose my mind, until I cracked and I let myself loved by him at the most high level until then. And so it was the second New Year spent with him, kissing at twelve o’clock at night, a new year that came with a rediscovered and shared love.
